Africa Kwenu!

This may get me into trouble, if you read it wrong. Therefore I urge you to apply your mind and find the meaning in this rant- its actually at the end.

If anyone knows me, you know my obsession with Bella Naija Weddings page. Fridays are my day to go through the updates, with every wedding more opulent than the last.. sometimes. For those who are unfamiliar, this is OPW stepped by 1000 and some weddings are even beyond Top Billing.

It is pretty clear that Nigerian people know how to get married, or at least throw a proper wedding! Everything is so spot on, from the proposal, the pre-wedding photo shoot, the white wedding and right through to the traditional wedding. The vibrant colours, box fresh fashion with top of the range fashion and musicality of the entire affair heightens the entire celebration. 

3 pairs, 1 bride!

I decided that I was going to marry a Nigerian man.

Then a few weeks ago, like an epiphany it hit me. I am not interested in Nigerian men. Its the culture that I am enthralled by! I find it so attractive that the people, especially the men are so proud of their cultures. A man in an agbada can ask me for any favours and he will be met with little to no resistance (lol).

Yes dear!

Now that I am able to see clearly where my interests lie, I have been relinquished from dealing with some really strange men *shudders*- but thats a whole book on its own. It has also prompted me to look a little more into my own culture and learn more about what Tsonga/Shangaan people are about.

Twerking in part of my culture!

As feminist, I was put off culture because of how oppressive it is of women. However as a businesswoman who is developing products and services for the African market, I cannot overlook the importance of culture to the people I want to reach.

There are some very cool parts to culture like the flamboyant fashion, delicious food and vivacious music! I am going to enjoy those elements. The parts that do not feel good to me or align to my personal beliefs- I am going to leave out.

As modern African where do you stand on this issue of culture? How embedded into your life is it, if at all?

Whitney Elizabeth Houston: A Life Used Up

                                                    Angel from God's choir


After watching the elaborate event that was the funeral of the woman who provided the theme song hundreds of love stories worldwide; one theme reigned supreme: Love.

The love that Whitney's fans had for her.
The love that Whitney had for her fans.
The love that Whitney had for music.
The greatest love of all; the love that Whitney had for the Lord!


When we think of Whitney, we see her life as being one of struggle with abuse. The abuse of drugs, alcohol and emotional turmoil. Her bodyguard, Ray Watson, was extremely correct when he said that " we need  show the people in the entertainment industry some love. We need to treat them dignity and respect."

We need to remember that a celebrity can be defined as humans that are celebrated; common factor being human beings. We all make very unwise decisions but fortunately for us "unsung heroes" or "undiscovered talent", we are not on a world stage under a white hot light for all to see. I don't even want anyone to discuss my issues in earshot of another person, how much more on every possible website and since these days everything sounds in dollars, the truth is very economical because its bland.

I always questioned how a woman who claimed to love the Lord could go off so far and ultimately fall off the cliff. I wondered what Jesus thought of her; the gift she possessed was undoubtedly divine, but the way she treated it so carelessly and almost selfishly was painstaking for those who loved her and I wondered how the giver of the gift felt!

But Tyler Perry led me to an answer, in the book of Romans it talks about "what can separate us from the love of God" and frankly- absolutely nothing can!!!! not SIN, not death, not struggles, not her addictions, nothing separated her from the love of God!!
So who are we, myself included, to ask any questions about Whitney and her faith. How dare we try to separate her from the love of God?

Watching the funeral of Whitney, I realised that just like her life, Jesus was the Lord of the day.
The last speaker Pastor Winans spoke about priorities and got into an entire sermon that I know made the entire Hollywood community squirm.. and I wondered why he chose that sermon rather than preach about the life of Whitney and how she will be welcomed in heaven. I was reminded that God is not the God of the dead; but the God of the living.

Whitney is now dead, but her life was totally used by God from the minute she sang the song "Tomorrow" on her first album to the last song she sang which was NOT coincidentally  "Jesus loves me".
We knew that Whitney loved the Lord, that she made a mess of her life, but I refuse to accept that her life was messed up. Hers was a life used up by God to achieve his purpose, because before God created a person, He had a purpose! Her life had a purpose from the beginning to the moment her gold casket was hoisted on the shoulders of the pall bearers.

Whitney loved the Lord and the Lord loved Whitney!

Let the people say "AMEN"!

R n B Sundays 2

  Donell, come back! I need you....

“Well, well, well, well!” That is pretty much his signature phrase in the sultry mellow tone, now tell me; have you seen him???

 

I know I was meant to blog on a new artist/ album every week. The second Sunday, something or rather someone interrupted me, this led to putting in practice all my con reading skills I learnt from watching "White Collar" and that’s another post all together. The third Sunday, I had car trouble and still do, but I refuse to let it consume me two weeks in a row.

Aaahhh * nostalgic sigh *, where do I begin the story of Donell?

 The year was 1999, my colourful and super cool aunt Pamela was an R n B fanatic, she and my late uncle (her brother in law) would sit around on Sundays listening to Jazz, Afro pop, R n B, Soft Rock, etc so I guess that’s where I got this from. At that age 12, it was very annoying because I’d rather be watching TV than have The Soweto String Quartet fiddling through the house.

This was the first album I heard and the first song I really took to was obviously “U know what’s up" ft Left Eye (RIP), I mean TLC was my favourite group at the time. There was no song bigger than "No Scrubs" and all girls my age had pictures of the trio plastered over anything we could find a blank space above the Spice Girls and beside Backstreet Boys. This is when I ask for all those with 'Auto' or 'Scrap' books to step up and tell us how they got down the lyrics to the songs pre-Google! I mean it’s like every song had 4000000000+ versions of the same chorus! As usual, I digress.

Donell...I liked that name ... ALOT! It just had something that still puts a lingering smile on my lips. Perhaps the double LL! He was good looking, that just added to the appeal and I blame him for ... mmmm let’s just say the song "This luv" carries memories.

When I listen to it now, I realise this song was loaded and encouraged promiscuity! I didn’t fully comprehend what it all meant but it had a different sound.. The part that still gets me to this day is:

"I understand you have a n*gga that lives at home but I wanna be the cat that makes you moan". It’s not the lyrics I liked, but his vocals there that got me hooked. You have to hear it to understand it. I’ll stop there with this song * naughty lingering smile *. It is my favourite Donell song to this day.

Next song was "Shorty", it was cool kind of reminds me of that Montel Jordan song 'Get it on tonight'. Nothing to write home about; typical guy trying to hustle a girl to go home with him.

 I haven’t listened to this entire album since 1999, but when I heard this song "I wanna love you", my toes curled up. It’s amazing what the mind remembers and after Googling the lyrics; I know why. Like the man says, he wants to love the woman; straight to the point. I think I should stop fighting the fact that I am a idealistic romantic (for lack of a better word), I want a very pure type of love, but then again which girl doesn’t?

I wanna luv u
every night, every day
u know I need u in my life
want u stay
I wanna luv u
every night, every day
u know I need u in my life
want u stay

I want to be needed. There I said it for the whole world to know. If I am not needed, then why am I there? Anybody else may as well be there. I must be the only person on this entire world capable of fulfilling that role but if I am not, then someone else can take the job!

 I always ask suitors "Why me?, what is it about me that made you step up to me? " If any one of them had given the right answer- well, let’s just say I would be too busy for this post! Haa haa..

Then the last song, really hits home "Where I wanna be". This is a "love" song, I’ll let the lyrics speak for themselves.. My comments are in purple:

I said I left my baby girl a message
Sayin' I won't be coming home
I'd rather be alone
She doesn't fully understand me
That I'd rather leave than to cheat  ( I applaud this)
If she gives me some time
I can be the man she needs   ( Don’t agree with this)
But there's a lot of lust inside of me ( The truth shall set you free) 
And we've been together since our teenage years
I really don't mean to hurt her, but I need some time
To be alone

[Chorus 1]
But when you love someone
You just don't treat them bad
Oh, how I feel so sad
Now that I wanna leave
She's crying her heart to me
How could you let this be?
I just need time to see
Where I wanna be
Where I wanna be...

Sweet little dee-do-dee-dee...
I don't mean to hurt you, baby, oh, no, no...

[Verse 2]
Never did I imagine
That you would play a major part
In a decision that's so hard
Do I leave, do I stay, do I go?
I think about my life and what matters to me the most
Girl, the love that we share is real
But in time your heart will heal
I'm not saying I'm gone
But I have to find what life is like
Without you
If someone has lust inside them, it is best that they leave! I believe in leaving! That’s me- ill quickly add that I believe in forgiveness too. I admit, I am a little unforgiving, and for that reason one must leave!

This song is an paradox within itself. He is the hero and the villain. He is leaving to protect her from his potential to cheat and the hurt that she could feel from that, so in a way he is caring about her feelings and shielding her from the bad side of him. In the same breath, he is putting himself first and making a really selfish decision to take care of his desires, which supercede her broken heart.

I often ask, "why can’t more guys be like this?". Leave when they see they have unexplored lust in them, rather than hang on and hurt you. As selfish as this ultimately is- I find it’s the lesser evil and has a hint of nobility. I would prefer my heart heal from this, then the scathing hurt of being cheated on.

What are your favourite Donell songs? Any thoughts on the song "Where I wanna be?"

R n B Sundays: Babyface

                                              What a timeless album!

This is the first of my RnB Sunday posts.  I'll start with the classics because they paved the way.

I guess "the universe" started me here (my friend took Micheal Bolton) so Babyface it is.

I was introduced to him by my mother, we actually owned this particular album but it got lost somewhere. While on our usual mall trolls, my friend and i came across a GREAT SALE!! Mind you we are in the middle of career determining exams, our attorney's admission exams start on Tuesday, but we found time to wander around the mall!( And i have time to blog - this is the moment you should all feel special).

Reliable Music warehouse is selling 3 cd's for R99!! This was one of them- ill debut the rest later. (If you are in the US divide by 7). I Know, GREAT DEAL!

I must have been 11 when i started listening to this album, although not quite understanding the depth of the lyrics but in my 11 year old mind i knew that love was a very serious thing.

I  thought "guys have such big hearts or are Hero-like" songs like 'Change the world' and 'how come, how long' influenced that.

'Soon as I get home' and 'Never keeping secrets' made me think that fidelity, honesty and a man treating you well was a given. *sigh*

 Above all, to this day i hold that there is no way that a man can apologise without being as sorry as in "Reason for breathing".

I don't wanna go clubbing, I got no one to dance with me
I don't wanna go shopping, I got no one to spend my money on
Spending my time with one glass of wine
Playing solitaire just to ease my mind
Poured one for you, but I drank that too
Anything to kill the pain of losing you

I would listen to this part and be like "Wow, a woman can do this to a man? I mean he doesnt want to go shopping because he has no one to spend his money on? cant buy himself something?" I would ask my mother these questions and she would just laugh.

I think i subconsciously decided that someone has to feel this way about me someday and nothing less would be acceptable! 

I turn on the radio just to take the hurt away
Another night and I'm missing you
Girl, it's killing me

And the finale line was: *dramatic rise in tempo*

But I'm lost in this pain and I don't have much time
I'm so tired of walking this same old line
So I'm taking my pride, gonna throw it asidePlease let me breathe girl, I'm sorry.

Chorus:  (to put things in context)

I don't wanna die tonight, but I think I might be going down
'Cause the only one I ever cared about is nowhere to be found
I don't wanna close my eyes 'cause I might not see the light of day
I'm almost out of air
You're my reason for breathing
You're my reason for breathing

This song is the "Standard of Sorriness". I guess it explains why no ex boyfriend has ever been successful in reconciliation attempts. Ha Ha.
As an 11 year old, i could feel that this man's life depended on this woman forgiving him. She really was his reason for breathing!! It was as if  he was on life support and the machine is beeping faster and her "i forgive you" would stablise his condition.

Overall, this was a pretty great album and 11 years later i was glad to compare what i thought then with what ive learnt now. My "Standard" is still high and im holding out for a 'Soon as I get home ' kinda guy..

Have you heard this album? What did you think of it? Favourite songs? Share guys :)

Whom to love

                                                             Those puppy eyes *swoon*

I am Weezy lover to the core and when the song 'How to love' came out, I felt like he was saying he loves me back and above all; gets me.

Weezy is the epitome of bad *ss! Everything about him is obscene and brilliant in the same breath. I could easily do this all day, everyday. I dont condone all his behaviour though- like the BET 2011 Awards performance....ummmm, the bow at the end was a lil too late! You cant rock up undressed and skipping across the stage- then bow at the end! You already disrespected us!! Like the people that stop in the middle of the road and turn on their hazards- that DOESNT make it ok!!
Totally inappropriate and out of place..*sigh* So Weezy *smiles*.

Anyway, I digress.

Most women (feel free to disagree) have been/are attracted to the bad boy. I wont describe him further because we all know him, or know of him. He doesnt need more airplay..Agreed?

Basically what this guy(s) does to you is this:

"You see a lot of crooks and the crooks still crook
See You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart"

and the result is this:

"Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love"

You basically feel robbed of something, "crooked" as Weezy says.  You feel that the innocence of love is taken away because you shared it with the wrong person. Im not talking  about s*x here, but just a normal love relationship. Heartbreak is inevitable at some stage of your life- thats acceptable, we all need that breaking moment. Thats expected.

I am talking about something/someone that taints your love... Something that contaminates/ spoils/ corrupts your view and image of love, birthing the cynic in you.. Basically does what Wale in "Diary" talks about to your view of love. Side note : How deep is Wale though?? love him much??!!!

And then; Enter glimpse of hope! There is that person or people that somehow can redeem or save a situation. You feel he/they wants to try give back to you what the crooks took-almost like your system is being reset..As much as the person has their own struggles and shortfalls; in their presence you feel almost whimsical again. This is something different and you are so out of your element...something unusual-but not in that Trey Songz  nasty kinda way.

 A good sort of weird.

This doesnt really have an ending as i am still figuring it out.. But thought i would share before i completely forget.

Comments.. Have you ever met anyone above? and how did that make you feel? Were they everything you thought? or a wolf in sheeps skin..Like the Marlon's brothers in "White Chics"...