The Tide is In!

In the song “Drunk in Love” Jay did say “I hope you can handle this curve”.  He really is “on to the next one” I hope the $56 million dollar investment will bring him back some money please.

For those who are living under a rock, or just don’t understand why most of black celebville was turning their profile pictures to this shade of blue, I am not even going to try to name the colour (teal, aqua, jade?).  Tidal is a music streaming service, like Spotify, Pandora and others, but the main difference is that it is a high definition music streaming service.

The landing page of the website identifies your device, including i0S and Android and has multiple audio devices listed for you to choose from in order to optimize the listener experience.

The subscription packages range from $9.99 for the standard quality audio and $19.99 for high quality audio. The site also has high definition videos and all the context is expertly curated by an editorial team. There are other features which will be announced when the site officially airs at 5pm, which is 2 hours away from the time of penning this post.

I look forward to whatever is going to be next in terms of services and features, but also what this means for music. The comments I have seen, mostly from the black internet are that this is too expensive considering that this music is now freely available. What are your thoughts on the price?

I hope this doesn’t turn out like the Samsung thing where its all hype and poor delivery. I have all kinds of respect for Jay Z as a business man and I think whichever way it goes, kudos to him!

Well my fellow African brothers and Sisters- we too can access this service, unlike Spotify and Pandora! All you need is a credit card and you can join the wave. Are you going to allow yourself to get carried away? My real question is when are we going to have an African music streaming platform with our music and our artists? I tried to reach out to a well known music producer who I will not name and shame with this idea in January, but he probably thought I was a groupie! Lets put the rands, nairas and Zim dollars together to do this thing! 

She who must be obeyed.

Sisi in Sandtin 

Are you free or are you dom?

I know we are free now. Pass laws have been abolished. But, seriously, where was everyone on Freedom Day?? Honestly, can I get an answer.

The day begun abruptly as the sun seared into my eyes and I rolled out of bed to attend a meeting, after a heavy night at Club Hush. An unsolicited debit order had gone off my bank account and I was determined not to let anything get between me and money. I HAD to reverse the transaction, so off to FNB (the best bank) I drove- without bathing but wearing the right attitude and copious amounts of deodorant. Only to find the bank closed..

Then I decided to go to Meltz, because I heard they were going under liquidation, yet, alas it was me who was liquidated. After Meltz, I went Waka and was like:

I bought a water jug and kitchen knives at Adams Discount store. I'm bad.

Skip past the chores and enter the finale of Come Dine With Me. The highlight of the event was the sex toy presentation by a very nervous Cara of Bella Rouge. For other people these were sex tips to spice up their bedroom lives, for me it was purely educational. It was quite fascinating, but the thing that interested me the most was the lengths that women will go to please men. Do men host sex parties? Do men sit and try to find solutions on how to keep the weight off, wash and feed the baby plus, excel at their careers without a nanny? (That's its own topic)

Hit fast forward again. Now Miss B, Zani and I are in Braamfontein….

Expecting this:

                             

But got this:

Thirty minutes later, we go to Randlords, expecting this:

The cover charge made us:

Back in the car, off to Melville, with the motto: No cover charge; no problem! What we found was………

We had a problem because we were looking like this:

                                                            Ok, not quite, but close

We hit the car, off to Sandton Newscafe, now in pursuit of

A Sweet Brown wanna be waitress told us the kitchen was closed, and we ended up at

So, where were you?

Commitment

"Married to my dreams and divorcing my fears." unknown




That is a 5 carat diamond ring. Its obviously expensive and the person receiving it must be deserving.

My talent and dreams deserve the best of me. They deserve my commitment and today we are making it official.

This blog is the child of my dreams and talents. I have been a terrible guardian to it and abandoned it several times. This stops, write now.

Newly wed couples look into each others eyes during their first dance, they each dance for an audience of one. However, here, I will write for an audience of none.

Whitney Elizabeth Houston: A Life Used Up

                                                    Angel from God's choir


After watching the elaborate event that was the funeral of the woman who provided the theme song hundreds of love stories worldwide; one theme reigned supreme: Love.

The love that Whitney's fans had for her.
The love that Whitney had for her fans.
The love that Whitney had for music.
The greatest love of all; the love that Whitney had for the Lord!


When we think of Whitney, we see her life as being one of struggle with abuse. The abuse of drugs, alcohol and emotional turmoil. Her bodyguard, Ray Watson, was extremely correct when he said that " we need  show the people in the entertainment industry some love. We need to treat them dignity and respect."

We need to remember that a celebrity can be defined as humans that are celebrated; common factor being human beings. We all make very unwise decisions but fortunately for us "unsung heroes" or "undiscovered talent", we are not on a world stage under a white hot light for all to see. I don't even want anyone to discuss my issues in earshot of another person, how much more on every possible website and since these days everything sounds in dollars, the truth is very economical because its bland.

I always questioned how a woman who claimed to love the Lord could go off so far and ultimately fall off the cliff. I wondered what Jesus thought of her; the gift she possessed was undoubtedly divine, but the way she treated it so carelessly and almost selfishly was painstaking for those who loved her and I wondered how the giver of the gift felt!

But Tyler Perry led me to an answer, in the book of Romans it talks about "what can separate us from the love of God" and frankly- absolutely nothing can!!!! not SIN, not death, not struggles, not her addictions, nothing separated her from the love of God!!
So who are we, myself included, to ask any questions about Whitney and her faith. How dare we try to separate her from the love of God?

Watching the funeral of Whitney, I realised that just like her life, Jesus was the Lord of the day.
The last speaker Pastor Winans spoke about priorities and got into an entire sermon that I know made the entire Hollywood community squirm.. and I wondered why he chose that sermon rather than preach about the life of Whitney and how she will be welcomed in heaven. I was reminded that God is not the God of the dead; but the God of the living.

Whitney is now dead, but her life was totally used by God from the minute she sang the song "Tomorrow" on her first album to the last song she sang which was NOT coincidentally  "Jesus loves me".
We knew that Whitney loved the Lord, that she made a mess of her life, but I refuse to accept that her life was messed up. Hers was a life used up by God to achieve his purpose, because before God created a person, He had a purpose! Her life had a purpose from the beginning to the moment her gold casket was hoisted on the shoulders of the pall bearers.

Whitney loved the Lord and the Lord loved Whitney!

Let the people say "AMEN"!

The week in words

Hope in God, but exert yourself! {Russian proverb}

This was one of those pivotal weeks in my life. It was a week of introspection and reflection.*deep pause*

 My current favourite author Paulo Coelho speaks about how we determine time and I chewed on the  bone of life and let it digest;

• First; I hoped again. Not hoping on a specific situation or result, but I am hoping in the goodness of God.
• Secondly, I am letting people love me. I think I am emotionally inept.. Yes I know its an unkind thing to say about myself but I dont respond well to affection, etc. I lost almost everything by the hand of someone I loved at a young age, therefore I view people and their intentions very warily.
• Thirdly, I discovered that the slower you move, the easier it is to form the dots that will be connected one day. I didnt do as well as I planned to in certain aspect of my career and this has lead to all the above.

Sometimes life just slams the brakes so you can observe the scenery and really think about where you are going.

Right now I have a thirst to find something that CONSUMES me!  I want to be in a line of work where thats all that is on my mind, where I am thoroughly involved and sleep is abandoned. Where my mind is constantly unsettled and I look at my life and just love what I am doing.

I am glad to be asking these questions and although I dont have an answer as yet, I am excited because it means as long as I keep consciously moving- I will reach my my object (not destination) and run with it.. Slowly..

In the words of Steve Jobs; Stay hungry, Stay foolish!!!

Lost without you.... Blackberry addict's ode to lost Blackberry

Dear B,

I dont even know how to begin this...

Listened to Carter 4, so im sure this pic makes sense with that in mind

(Brilliant album, worth the wait)



Sitting alone in total silence. All alone. In silence.

A sound or feeling I am no longer accustomed to and honestly in this first 48 hours since I lost my Blackberry( it’s not a phone, it’s a Blackberry) among other things ,its sunk in just how needy I’ve become.

As much as we claim that we now, more than ever very self reliant and that we can do just fine all alone and human emotions can be fully described by 20 emoticons (I don’t know how to download more than the standard ones).  Today, I realized otherwise.

The Blackberry revolution in my view has opened both sides of the can, you are getting out what you need but there’s a lot of crap you don’t need that will inevitably be a waste.  The convenience of a Smartphone is unparalleled.  You have access to everything but we need to filter what we let on to screens; for instance some applications are total rubbish. There’s a certain android that has an animal app, you can say something and it repeats out in a donkey, chipmunk, or whatever (except a dinosaur *very sad face*) voice you like. Imagine that, having a giraffe parrot you. How totally ridiculous is that, and the worst thing I grown folk have entire zoo’s on their phones alongside CNN/ BBC instant updates applications. * BBM can’t watch face*.

As much as all my 60 contacts are all alive and fine; I have not spoken to most of them since yesterday. I doubt a little over a handful of them will enquire as to how or when I fell of the BBM radar even when they see my quirky and usually attention seeking statuses are missing. As I point one finger at them and surely the rest are pointing back at me; the greatest effort I’ll make to “reach out” is to alert my 700 Face book friends in a half hearted status that my Blackberry and I have been separated by circumstances beyond our control and after failed attempts to be rejoined we have accepted our fate is be apart.

Smartphone’s have somewhat lessened the value of, or cheapened human relationships. Cheapened can be seem in a good light- like mercury bulbs- it’s much easier to get in touch with people now  as they can be on your BBM, What’s App or whatever app. Phone numbers have to some point become redundant; I mean why do you need to call someone when all they can ever be is basically:

Whatever is emoticon missing, fill in the gaps and end with aJ!

Also note, the “Haa haa/ Hee hee” variation goes a long way.

If you are really longing to hear their voice, a 59 second voice note will do the trick and this can actually be turned into a full on discussion. Now, who needs phone numbers? *BBM not interested face*.

I’ve read a certain male blog where a writer proudly stated he has “de thonged women in under 20 texts”, well in the age of BBM where texting is only to parents, grandparents and work colleagues or people living in middle eastern countries and Zimbabwe- I’m sure he could “de thong” them 60 seconds flat.

 In the social scene, a phone number and no BBM pin is like wearing sweat pants on any other day than what the ‘It’ girls decide. Yes, I liked Mean Girls….a lot. It’s all about the Pin! So that you can get a Ping. There is no BBM emoticon for *losing my mind*.

The story of how my phone got stolen/ lost is neither here nor there, but I’ll let you know it involves a guy in a pink shirt, some very drunk Zimbabweans and a place in Rosebank; SHUSH!!! I say this just to make it sound cooler than it really was, but I’ll leave it like this.

This is day one and i'll keep you guys posted on how the Crackberry withdrawal symptoms sub side.

Any tips on what I can do? I am getting another one as soon as the Torch 9810 hits the shelves, I’ll be on it like the white on rice. What do I do in the meantime? *BBM confused face*

R n B Sundays 2

  Donell, come back! I need you....

“Well, well, well, well!” That is pretty much his signature phrase in the sultry mellow tone, now tell me; have you seen him???

 

I know I was meant to blog on a new artist/ album every week. The second Sunday, something or rather someone interrupted me, this led to putting in practice all my con reading skills I learnt from watching "White Collar" and that’s another post all together. The third Sunday, I had car trouble and still do, but I refuse to let it consume me two weeks in a row.

Aaahhh * nostalgic sigh *, where do I begin the story of Donell?

 The year was 1999, my colourful and super cool aunt Pamela was an R n B fanatic, she and my late uncle (her brother in law) would sit around on Sundays listening to Jazz, Afro pop, R n B, Soft Rock, etc so I guess that’s where I got this from. At that age 12, it was very annoying because I’d rather be watching TV than have The Soweto String Quartet fiddling through the house.

This was the first album I heard and the first song I really took to was obviously “U know what’s up" ft Left Eye (RIP), I mean TLC was my favourite group at the time. There was no song bigger than "No Scrubs" and all girls my age had pictures of the trio plastered over anything we could find a blank space above the Spice Girls and beside Backstreet Boys. This is when I ask for all those with 'Auto' or 'Scrap' books to step up and tell us how they got down the lyrics to the songs pre-Google! I mean it’s like every song had 4000000000+ versions of the same chorus! As usual, I digress.

Donell...I liked that name ... ALOT! It just had something that still puts a lingering smile on my lips. Perhaps the double LL! He was good looking, that just added to the appeal and I blame him for ... mmmm let’s just say the song "This luv" carries memories.

When I listen to it now, I realise this song was loaded and encouraged promiscuity! I didn’t fully comprehend what it all meant but it had a different sound.. The part that still gets me to this day is:

"I understand you have a n*gga that lives at home but I wanna be the cat that makes you moan". It’s not the lyrics I liked, but his vocals there that got me hooked. You have to hear it to understand it. I’ll stop there with this song * naughty lingering smile *. It is my favourite Donell song to this day.

Next song was "Shorty", it was cool kind of reminds me of that Montel Jordan song 'Get it on tonight'. Nothing to write home about; typical guy trying to hustle a girl to go home with him.

 I haven’t listened to this entire album since 1999, but when I heard this song "I wanna love you", my toes curled up. It’s amazing what the mind remembers and after Googling the lyrics; I know why. Like the man says, he wants to love the woman; straight to the point. I think I should stop fighting the fact that I am a idealistic romantic (for lack of a better word), I want a very pure type of love, but then again which girl doesn’t?

I wanna luv u
every night, every day
u know I need u in my life
want u stay
I wanna luv u
every night, every day
u know I need u in my life
want u stay

I want to be needed. There I said it for the whole world to know. If I am not needed, then why am I there? Anybody else may as well be there. I must be the only person on this entire world capable of fulfilling that role but if I am not, then someone else can take the job!

 I always ask suitors "Why me?, what is it about me that made you step up to me? " If any one of them had given the right answer- well, let’s just say I would be too busy for this post! Haa haa..

Then the last song, really hits home "Where I wanna be". This is a "love" song, I’ll let the lyrics speak for themselves.. My comments are in purple:

I said I left my baby girl a message
Sayin' I won't be coming home
I'd rather be alone
She doesn't fully understand me
That I'd rather leave than to cheat  ( I applaud this)
If she gives me some time
I can be the man she needs   ( Don’t agree with this)
But there's a lot of lust inside of me ( The truth shall set you free) 
And we've been together since our teenage years
I really don't mean to hurt her, but I need some time
To be alone

[Chorus 1]
But when you love someone
You just don't treat them bad
Oh, how I feel so sad
Now that I wanna leave
She's crying her heart to me
How could you let this be?
I just need time to see
Where I wanna be
Where I wanna be...

Sweet little dee-do-dee-dee...
I don't mean to hurt you, baby, oh, no, no...

[Verse 2]
Never did I imagine
That you would play a major part
In a decision that's so hard
Do I leave, do I stay, do I go?
I think about my life and what matters to me the most
Girl, the love that we share is real
But in time your heart will heal
I'm not saying I'm gone
But I have to find what life is like
Without you
If someone has lust inside them, it is best that they leave! I believe in leaving! That’s me- ill quickly add that I believe in forgiveness too. I admit, I am a little unforgiving, and for that reason one must leave!

This song is an paradox within itself. He is the hero and the villain. He is leaving to protect her from his potential to cheat and the hurt that she could feel from that, so in a way he is caring about her feelings and shielding her from the bad side of him. In the same breath, he is putting himself first and making a really selfish decision to take care of his desires, which supercede her broken heart.

I often ask, "why can’t more guys be like this?". Leave when they see they have unexplored lust in them, rather than hang on and hurt you. As selfish as this ultimately is- I find it’s the lesser evil and has a hint of nobility. I would prefer my heart heal from this, then the scathing hurt of being cheated on.

What are your favourite Donell songs? Any thoughts on the song "Where I wanna be?"

R n B Sundays: Babyface

                                              What a timeless album!

This is the first of my RnB Sunday posts.  I'll start with the classics because they paved the way.

I guess "the universe" started me here (my friend took Micheal Bolton) so Babyface it is.

I was introduced to him by my mother, we actually owned this particular album but it got lost somewhere. While on our usual mall trolls, my friend and i came across a GREAT SALE!! Mind you we are in the middle of career determining exams, our attorney's admission exams start on Tuesday, but we found time to wander around the mall!( And i have time to blog - this is the moment you should all feel special).

Reliable Music warehouse is selling 3 cd's for R99!! This was one of them- ill debut the rest later. (If you are in the US divide by 7). I Know, GREAT DEAL!

I must have been 11 when i started listening to this album, although not quite understanding the depth of the lyrics but in my 11 year old mind i knew that love was a very serious thing.

I  thought "guys have such big hearts or are Hero-like" songs like 'Change the world' and 'how come, how long' influenced that.

'Soon as I get home' and 'Never keeping secrets' made me think that fidelity, honesty and a man treating you well was a given. *sigh*

 Above all, to this day i hold that there is no way that a man can apologise without being as sorry as in "Reason for breathing".

I don't wanna go clubbing, I got no one to dance with me
I don't wanna go shopping, I got no one to spend my money on
Spending my time with one glass of wine
Playing solitaire just to ease my mind
Poured one for you, but I drank that too
Anything to kill the pain of losing you

I would listen to this part and be like "Wow, a woman can do this to a man? I mean he doesnt want to go shopping because he has no one to spend his money on? cant buy himself something?" I would ask my mother these questions and she would just laugh.

I think i subconsciously decided that someone has to feel this way about me someday and nothing less would be acceptable! 

I turn on the radio just to take the hurt away
Another night and I'm missing you
Girl, it's killing me

And the finale line was: *dramatic rise in tempo*

But I'm lost in this pain and I don't have much time
I'm so tired of walking this same old line
So I'm taking my pride, gonna throw it asidePlease let me breathe girl, I'm sorry.

Chorus:  (to put things in context)

I don't wanna die tonight, but I think I might be going down
'Cause the only one I ever cared about is nowhere to be found
I don't wanna close my eyes 'cause I might not see the light of day
I'm almost out of air
You're my reason for breathing
You're my reason for breathing

This song is the "Standard of Sorriness". I guess it explains why no ex boyfriend has ever been successful in reconciliation attempts. Ha Ha.
As an 11 year old, i could feel that this man's life depended on this woman forgiving him. She really was his reason for breathing!! It was as if  he was on life support and the machine is beeping faster and her "i forgive you" would stablise his condition.

Overall, this was a pretty great album and 11 years later i was glad to compare what i thought then with what ive learnt now. My "Standard" is still high and im holding out for a 'Soon as I get home ' kinda guy..

Have you heard this album? What did you think of it? Favourite songs? Share guys :)

What the heck...

                                                        What the hell???

All my life I've been good,
But now...
I'm thinking, "what the hell?"
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about...
This exactly how i feel about studying for my board exams.. Totally unmotivated (I wont say demotivated because i wasnt motivated to start with)and  in complete oblivion.

In the age of the internet, i cant really get into it but i will one day when all fear is gone.

How is your weekend going? Have you ever felt like this and how did you get over it?

Whom to love

                                                             Those puppy eyes *swoon*

I am Weezy lover to the core and when the song 'How to love' came out, I felt like he was saying he loves me back and above all; gets me.

Weezy is the epitome of bad *ss! Everything about him is obscene and brilliant in the same breath. I could easily do this all day, everyday. I dont condone all his behaviour though- like the BET 2011 Awards performance....ummmm, the bow at the end was a lil too late! You cant rock up undressed and skipping across the stage- then bow at the end! You already disrespected us!! Like the people that stop in the middle of the road and turn on their hazards- that DOESNT make it ok!!
Totally inappropriate and out of place..*sigh* So Weezy *smiles*.

Anyway, I digress.

Most women (feel free to disagree) have been/are attracted to the bad boy. I wont describe him further because we all know him, or know of him. He doesnt need more airplay..Agreed?

Basically what this guy(s) does to you is this:

"You see a lot of crooks and the crooks still crook
See You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart"

and the result is this:

"Never really had luck, couldn’t never figure out
How to love"

You basically feel robbed of something, "crooked" as Weezy says.  You feel that the innocence of love is taken away because you shared it with the wrong person. Im not talking  about s*x here, but just a normal love relationship. Heartbreak is inevitable at some stage of your life- thats acceptable, we all need that breaking moment. Thats expected.

I am talking about something/someone that taints your love... Something that contaminates/ spoils/ corrupts your view and image of love, birthing the cynic in you.. Basically does what Wale in "Diary" talks about to your view of love. Side note : How deep is Wale though?? love him much??!!!

And then; Enter glimpse of hope! There is that person or people that somehow can redeem or save a situation. You feel he/they wants to try give back to you what the crooks took-almost like your system is being reset..As much as the person has their own struggles and shortfalls; in their presence you feel almost whimsical again. This is something different and you are so out of your element...something unusual-but not in that Trey Songz  nasty kinda way.

 A good sort of weird.

This doesnt really have an ending as i am still figuring it out.. But thought i would share before i completely forget.

Comments.. Have you ever met anyone above? and how did that make you feel? Were they everything you thought? or a wolf in sheeps skin..Like the Marlon's brothers in "White Chics"...

Things to know..

Well one thing i know is that i have been awful and unfaithful to you my space (Dont really have followers to be unfaithful to) LOL..

I have been writing, but i blame my slackness on my new "interest"..  ill put up a picture of my new journal!
I am such a pen and paper girl!! Nothing can substitute the feeling of paper under your fingers and a pen glinding across the page... and the scratching out!! I am a scratch , scribble kinda gal! But growing as a writer means being versatile!! Today, typing tomorrow ill figure out an iphone! Haa haa..

See, I have written so much in my journal and the original intention was to transfer the work to the blog.. but i got lazy.. and in my laziness i came up with this! Which translated into a brand new post...

1. Be excellent. Its an order.


2. You are beautiful. Its a fact.


3. You are strong. Own it.


4. You are loved unconditionally. Accept it.


5. You will fail and fall. Get up.


6. People pretend. Be aware


7. Be conscious. Not bitter.

8. Love God. Love people.


9. Money isnt everything and love is not enough!
n
10. Johannesburg is cold. Keep your feet warm! #random