Chill bites: My winter to do list!

It seems that a blog is not a blog without a list of some sort! Without further ado, here I go:

1. Study for my board exams that will be written on the 26th and 27th of July. Its not enough to just     have a degree that I slaved for over 4 years, I still have board exams to write to get a qualification I dont really feel I need, but at least I can call myself an attorney, and drop the candidate.

2. Fix up my car! My green hornet needs serious touch ups. It will do good for me to fix it now before summer rain comes. The list of problems it has are endless and this is to my untrained woman eye, it may cost a small fortune but safety first! I am always grateful that i am not paying  monthly instalments for it; thanks Dad.

3. Go and watch a 3D movie! *hides under desk* Yes, i have not seen a 3D movie yet. Im thinking  Thor; this weekend and ill go alone :).

4. Manage my money well so I can go whale watching in Cape Town after my boards as well as spend time with my mentor Mrs Carol Bouwer at her production house. Refer to post " funding the fabulousity".

5. Do something cultured. Maybe theatre, attend a seminar or expo. These Bhawa ranger tendencies {in one of the languages we speak in Zimbabwe we call a bar/club/pub a "bhawa". Get the word play with Power Ranger??? lol } must reduce. My Taiwanese friend says I need to do something that adds value to my life.. any suggestions?

6. Decorate!!!! I recently got my couch and now I need to get some pretty things to make it warm and inviting. I found the some very pretty red cushions and now i'm missing a soft, fluffly red fleece for the late night tv watching days with a cup of hot chocolate and baked goods. I love bedroom linen, so indulge myself and get a duvet filled with some sort of feathers ans Egyptian cotton pillow cases! Have to start somewhere.
A full length mirror is non negotiable. before i break my neck climbing on the tub to look in  bathroom one.

7. Cook a well planned meal for myself. Once a week. In heels.

8. Take a break from being a pleasure manager. Yes, it is an actual title and ill let you use your imagination as to what this means I do. Well for one- it means I have to be Bhawa ranger, the two are inextricably linked. In any case, you dont meet nice boys under that guise.
Im ready to meet a nice boy- I think,  but im willing to wait for the nicest boy to join me for the baked good and hot chocolate.

9.  Be purposeful and maintain an attitude of praise in all that I will face.  Love God and Love people.

10. Overcome my very rational dislike ( i dont like to use the word fear) of driving to court!! I hate going to that place- its smack in the middle of town; the crowds, little parking and constant road works make it a nightmare. I am even willing to forfeit the money I can claim for petrol and opt to carpool! Doing my bit for the enviroment!!

Big slices;thats how you cut the cake #fabulosity *Happy birthday tribute to Kimora Lee*

 Today, I was greatly (momentarily) offended.. I am apparently ghetto. I was called "Brooklyn", by the "Upper east siders".

Initially I thought, "Girl, you need to tone it down" and almost burst out laughing, when I realised, I am ghetto to the core!! Even in my thoughts.

And what is ghetto? Is it being poor? Is it being too black? I think its being real; unharnessed, or some would say "poor upbringing, or lack of manners". Yet whose manners? I am respectful in my culture, but because i laugh from my belly and use my entire body to express myself, I am "unfinished"?

I guess because of this, I am the odd kid in the pack, so out of place and improper. I caught myself being sad, and thinking "If only I could be like so and so, she is part of the 'in crowd'- black and proper", then I thought of Kimora.

If there is a runway worth talking of, she has walked on it. She has lived the life that many girls- "proper and improper" have dreamt of. How many thirteen year olds model, for Chanel? At a point she was Karl Lagerfeld's muse, I mean if you want to go on about her accolades, I can do it all day, everyday(I dont mind).
I (religiously) watch her show "Life in the fab lane", and this is a ghetto Queen, with her own kingdom and, boy, she does reign supreme. She does not apologise for who she is, she lives her life unedited, she is real, blessed and fabulous- above all.

In that moment, the thought of Kimora- brought me to the realisation, that they I am a ghetto Princess and I am building my own dynasty- so If people find me "Crass and tactless"- its alright! Im stunting like my Momma.

With that, lets wish Kimora a Happy, Fab Birthday; she has really opened a lot of doors and led the way for many black, mixed or just plain ghetto future Kings and Queens. May the Lord bless her with more years and strength to keep encouraging and inspiring us.

Funding the fabulosity

This post is outdated, its 10 days too late . I hope it can still salvage the few cents left in peoples accounts. This 10 day holiday break, has left many broke.

When I looked at my receipts from the weekend after pay day- I had gone through a small fortune. Really quickly. Fact about me- i love to shop but i hate to spend money, typical catch 22.

I decided to share some tips to try help us misers pinch the pennies in this insane economy. The ever rising petrol price inevitably means the joke is on us- no laughing to the bank, but crying in the supermarket.,

1. When eating out at a restaurant, i learnt from a friend, avoid buying a drink! It is twice the supermarket price and half the time; (well for me) it is left unfinished. Get water-tap water with a twist of lemon.

2. Carry your own shopping bag! Yes, it is a granny tendency- but the few cents every day- make dollers and rands! Make sense of the cents.

3. Check the receipt before leaving the shop, because the till operators are human too.It does seem a little anal, or petty, but its your money.

•  With "sale" and "special" items- make sure you see the right price- countless times i have picked up something and done a mental receipt, but at the till the price is a few hundred rands apart!,so always be sure!!

4. If like me, you are bad with shopping lists and everything in the shop just magically finds its way in your trolley. Usually I find a spot in the shop and have the "who is going to Vegas/ Sun City " little audition and the losers obviously remain in the shop. When i get to the till, I do it again  (thats where the chocolates and fizzy drinks say "ta-ta").

What other tips do you guys have to share?

Conflict checks!!

In the legal profession, with the bigger law firms especially, you may often find yourself conflicted. This means that you may be given an instruction by a client but unable to act because the person(juristic or natural) they want to sue is a client of yours and therefore you can't take on their matter.

What usually happens when a new instruction comes in is that the responsible attorney sends a conflict check to the whole firm before accepting the mandate from the client, to find out if we aren't already doing work for the other side.


I just thought, if this conflict check system is introduced in the dating/ relationship arena, it will solve a lot of problems!
Let's imagine something like this, assuming that women world wide had a sisterhood and we could all alert each other and  run a conflict check everytime we meet a new guy!!!!!

I think it would look like this:

CONFLICT CHECK FOR URGENT RESPONSE

Instructing Client:	Adam
Holding Company of client or group of which client is a member (if known):	VIP Gold card member of XXX Bar and Lounge
Other Party (if any):	Possibly be a Eve or Steve
Holding Company of other party or Group of which other party is a member:	Holding the position of wife, girlfriend, live in lover, occasional hook up, baby mama/ life partner
Nature of instruction eg Eg dinner date, casual hook up, one night stand, relationship	He wants to come home with me.
Name of Professional attending to this matter	Jezebel
Response required by:	Date: 18/04/2011                Time: 04:30 AM
General Comments, if any:	URGENT! The DJ is playing his last set and the club is about to close…

Yes, there is a conflict (stop immediately, WTF *%###^*)

No conflict

(Have fun

Yes, there is a conflict (stop immediately, WTF *%###^*)

No conflict

(Have fun girl ;)

The writing is on the wall..

The other day I put up my graphic illustration and feel free to write what it looks like, there is no wrong answer! (Don't you just wish that applied to maths?????)
Being single in Sandton for the last 7 months- it seems to be the story of this city.

• Boy meets girl. 
• Exchange of BBM pins. (phone numbers will get you nowhere)
• Day 2 of BBM'ing--> boy wants to see girl again. 
• Day 5 > a date is set up.
• Day  7 > there is a date/ meeting/ visit. 
• The end or some sinister continuation.

Maybe I've had awful experiences (could have something to do with the fact I meet them in the club), if you have had anything different: share it!
Its not even all times that you get to day 7 (if you respect your swag), if he is honest he will tell you he is seeing someone but he likes you enough to kiss you, but he is committed. "So what can we do?" *bbm grinning face icon*. Alternatively you will be told  that you can't expect to find a man his age being single, so he hopes you don't mind his girlfriend. Or they will just be plain weird!

Now, my issue is::
Women!! We have spoilt these men!! From which angle would someone approach you like that?? Its because he has tried and tested it before-- and guess what?? It worked!!
A standard has been set, that certain women don't mind playing the supporting actress role! Now though; its my movie and I play the lead roles! I call the shots 'cut', 'pause', 're-take'.I don't follow your cue cards and misdirection!
Women of Johannesburg, let's take ownership and stop playing the cameo roles! Can I get a 'Yuuup'??
I find it disrespectful for someone to make that kind of proposition to me; Tiyani Majoko. To be his 'makhwapheni'.. That literally means to be the girl in his armpit!!
*pointing at myself* "ME? "
*looking around*
"no ooo "*wagging finger and shaking my head*
Let's dissect that for a minute- you are the girl in the armpit; that's because the main girl is on his arm! There is no space for you in front- so you must be kept hidden, under wraps, in the armpit. Waiting in the 'wings'.

How many people know men who shave their armpit?. I mean men by gender- not by sex. A man's bushy armpit is one of the nastiest places I can think of. And he wants to put you there.
You aren't a piece of sand and his armpit isn't an oyster-you won't turn into a pearl under there!!
Its only a few 'makhwapheni's' that make it to the status of the Mrs,to slide out from the armpit, who manage to boot out the girl on the arm, classic example Alicia Keyes. She is every makhwapheni's role model!

        She was clearly more than a girl that's a friend!

Bottom line: We need to have a new picture for the scene out there.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Speaking to my spirit

I don't even know where to begin! This feels like something so delicious; so creamy and sweet, but in the right proportions. You are so tempted to pull it out of your mouth to see what exactly it is hitting the 'sweet spot'. And with things like this, its usually the only one, or the last piece you got from someone- who also got it from somewhere.. And you are ready to dedicate all your time to find this thing again!

Let me start with the ladies! I hope and pray everyone of you has ladies!!

Ladies, that know you; the true you- who may curse like sailor or who know that you can't eat your food without a drink, or aren't surprised when you whip out a mirror at the table while we are eating! The ladies that pray you through, hug you through, cry you through, jog with you, fast with you---->>> ladies that LOVE YOU!!

Thank you Jesus, I have these ladies!! Today, we had our day, from talks of waiting for Mr Right, Wonder Bra's and happy boobs, work displeasure, funemployment, parking bays, food, dream matte mousse by Revlon, Uncle Fauzi (this is a Lebanese restaurant in Pretoria- they make the best wings and burgers :) *twice in one day*.... nothing was off limits!

I felt complete. I was churched. I was mothered, smothered, sistered, grandmothered! I was like a fire fly!! Just beaming.

The Bible says 'the one who has loved has seen the face of God!' I love and l am loved-- it really felt like heaven just opened up and poured down on me.. ♥

I've met a guy that speaks to my soul, but these ladies- speak to my spirit! And so deeply.. They carry me in their spirit and I carry them in mine!!.. ♥ ♥ .. Love looks great on me ☺[Miguel is right - love can Adorn you]
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

My graphic illustration..

I was trying to upload from my PC, but it was PDF and for the life of me, I don't know how to convert a PDF to a JPG.. So I was like WTH.. and took a picture of a picture!!

On a side note, I've taken a picture of a picture before- it was of my high school crush..  In retrospect the coolest thing about him was the fact that I took a picture of his picture! No clue where he is today..

Anyway, use your imagination and tell me what you think the story behind this is.. Ill post my version too..
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Changes

I am no longer the 19 year old girl who so badly just wanted you to like her; at any cost..
I am the 23 year old woman who values my peace of  mind.

Because you dont understand that:

All of the lights..strobe lights, night lights..

I just typed this article and deleted it accidentally. sigh. :(

I can't type it again.

It was funny, quirky and leaves you with a good feeling. Well it left me with a good feeling and I did free advertising for some night spots in Joburg namely ZAR and Hush- the former being famous for people eating sushi of each others naked bodies.. When I went, there was no sushi; just Doritos... in the packet.

I made fun of people in ridiculous outfits and girls who believe that when the sun sets, so does the cellulite and wobbly bits.

I dissed guys (5 grown men) celebrating over 1 bottle of Nuvo/ Patron/Jack D/Wild Goose.. And waving it around all night.. Passing it amongst themselves.. Taking pictures with it.. And singing 'I get money'.. Or 'look at me now'.. Raising the bottle up..
None of them get money and y'all aint worth looking at.

Haaa, I was going to write a new post about Ishmael, he is a South African artist, he is very talented and he spoke with me last night..

The most important thing I did say is and i'll repeat is that: All this would not be possible without money! L☺L
Moving to Joburg has led to me shed some friendships due to distance and lack of time. I've come to meet new, interesting characters and its with these people that I have been able to create memorable times and also experience this beautiful city. ♥
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

The silly moments..

People say its the little moments, that make life.. I agree but the silly moments also make up the enjoyment!!

At work, after lunch (mind you this is Sandton- the poshest city in Southern Africa).. This what I was doing with my colleagues.. And I'm the youngest in my team, plus it wasn't my idea..

Bottom line- just enjoy it all- get your kicks where you can :)

Oh- we pressed our faces against the photocopy machine.

Try it!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I am not in love, but I am open to persuasion...

This is the opening line of one of my favourite songs by Joanna Armtrading (she sang the original Weakness in me)..

Its an adequate description of my disposition these days.. I'm not in love- with another person but I am in love with something.. Feeling so light and airy at the idea of being in love with love- or recreating the feelings I did feel when I loved another person..

My question is, why do we have to wait for another person? Why do we wait, for another person to arouse the feelings and deep passions within us?

These days, I've been more open, passionate and vulnerable than I've been in a relationship. Why do wait for another person to reveal to you what your own love tastes like? When its a flavour you carry? Why wait for someone else to release you.. To yourself?

I've listened to Adele's new album, my old Westlife tracks, Micheal Buble, Etta James.. There is no relationship that I've been in where I decided to tune into me.. And discover the flavour of my fancy..
And like the ladies in Coloured Girls said at the end.. 'My love is too Magic' to have it thrown back in face', My love is too sensual to have thrown back in my face, my love is too aromatic to have thrown back in my face, my love is too satisfying to have thrown back in my face...

As a single person, I'm glad to be experiencing this now.. Its like eating something while blind folded-you just have to make out all the flavours relying on your palate. If your palate is not cleansed then you won't be able to identify and enjoy what its in your mouth.. What's meant to satisfy you.. The same applies here, if you don't know what you like or don't, what makes you pop you would find yourself accepting what is given to you.

Don't see being single as a curse- its an opportunity to cleanse yourself of the bad and discovering all the varieties of you.. Knowing what mixes with you and what extra's you don't need.

What I suggest you do is wear the outfit that makes you feel like the only girl in the world, put on the songs you are embarassed to let people hear you listen to and let your love flow through you..
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device