The 5 Guys I Adore..... But Could Never Date

I decided to rework a few articles from the past! This is one of them from 2011.. Some of the views expressed herein have changed eg, I no longer watch Jack-ass or South Park, I am off Weezy but on Drizzy! I might reconsider the pastor, if we can get on Preachers of LA! (joking)

I want to discuss 5 archetypal men I’ve known and adored, but with whom I could never build a successful long term relationship.

 1) The Mafia Boss!

American Gangster!

Not the drug dealer, but the head honcho- Al Capone or Don Corleone themselves. I’m an extremist, if I want to date the bad guy, I want the baddest guy ever! I think of myself as a fairly ride or die girl having dated a few mini thugs in my day and as an attorney I could do all the work and find ways to keep my man on the streets.. but I can’t deal with the guns, the constant hoodlums in the house and i am unable keep a secret so i wouldn’t be able to stop myself from bragging to my friends if he shot someone famous!!

2) The intellectual/ academic 

 I enjoy a mental challenge and intellectual conversation on a regular basis. I have a genuine interest in knowledge and a smart man who is well versed in many disciplines is so hard to resist..but once in a while I like to watch Jack-ass (isn’t it awesome in 3D) , South Park and scream for the sake of it with my 2 year old nephew!!

3)Lil Wayne..

I don’t wanna date a celebrity, or a rapper- I want Weezy! I would wear my hair down my back like his! Change my teeth and officially be Mrs Carter- right now I go by it but no one respects it :( .. We would skate board, swear and smoke weed n sip sizurrp, sag our pants and I'd lend him more skin to tat! Id attend all BET awards and sit with TI's wife throwing up gang signs at the camera.. In the real world where my grandparents are pastors, this wouldn’t happen because he will get old and saggy tatted skin with a permanent grill wouldn’t be something I wanna see every day.

4) The Pastor/ Preacher

Going to heaven is right at the top of my priorities! I love me some Jesus and I ain’t afraid or ashamed to say it.  I know we all have access to God but I feel like a pastor sees and hears things we all may not be open to, they have this spiritual alertness that can either lead people to salvation or demise, plus I like to receive prayers!I can’t deal with the duties of being a pastors wife! You have to be kind, nurturing, warm, no cussing, have a steady supply of baked goods and hold/kiss small children a lot. Plus I like Weezy.. I think that’s a point on its own

5) The Dictator

I think from my list one can see, I like men that have strong leadership qualities, I have a big personality and an even bigger mouth so I am not for the indecisive and I am very clever so manipulation comes as a sort of second nature. A man must stick to his guns or I will run you!  I won’t even go into the benefits of being a President’s wife.. but a dictators wife the benefits are well.. larger than life and unfortunately I mean this literally. Thousands of people die, are chased from their homes and much worse in order for one to live the life of luxury. This man is a leader, in most cases a revolutionary man who has risen above other men and they have found him worthy to take care of them as well as their children!

Bonus

Ill add Donald Trump

 What are the types of girls/ guys you always fantasize or daydream about but that just look good on paper? Coz you know it would not last!!
For guys; is it an Amber Rose- a girl that’s pretty all the time and is the life of the party?
Ladies; is it the athlete? Tall, toned and …..Come guy and gals, share J… What’s your fantasy?