Monday, April 18, 2011

Conflict checks!!

In the legal profession, with the bigger law firms especially, you may often find yourself conflicted. This means that you may be given an instruction by a client but unable to act because the person(juristic or natural) they want to sue is a client of yours and therefore you can't take on their matter.

What usually happens when a new instruction comes in is that the responsible attorney sends a conflict check to the whole firm before accepting the mandate from the client, to find out if we aren't already doing work for the other side.


I just thought, if this conflict check system is introduced in the dating/ relationship arena, it will solve a lot of problems!
Let's imagine something like this, assuming that women world wide had a sisterhood and we could all alert each other and  run a conflict check everytime we meet a new guy!!!!!

I think it would look like this:

                                 CONFLICT CHECK FOR URGENT RESPONSE





Instructing Client:
 Adam
Holding Company of client or group of which client is a member (if known):
VIP Gold card member of XXX Bar and Lounge
Other Party (if any):
 Possibly be a Eve or Steve
Holding Company of other party or Group of which other party is a member:
Holding the position of wife, girlfriend, live in lover, occasional hook up, baby mama/ life partner
Nature of instruction eg Eg dinner date, casual hook up, one night stand, relationship
He wants to come home with me.
Name of Professional attending to this matter
Jezebel
Response required by:
Date: 18/04/2011                Time: 04:30 AM
General Comments, if any:
URGENT! The DJ is playing his last set and the club is about to close…









Yes, there is a conflict (stop immediately, WTF *%###^*)
No conflict
(Have fun



Yes, there is a conflict (stop immediately, WTF *%###^*)
No conflict
(Have fun girl ;)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The writing is on the wall..

The other day I put up my graphic illustration and feel free to write what it looks like, there is no wrong answer! (Don't you just wish that applied to maths?????)
Being single in Sandton for the last 7 months- it seems to be the story of this city.

  • Boy meets girl. 
  • Exchange of BBM pins. (phone numbers will get you nowhere)
  • Day 2 of BBM'ing--> boy wants to see girl again. 
  • Day 5 > a date is set up.
  • Day  7 > there is a date/ meeting/ visit. 
  • The end or some sinister continuation.

Maybe I've had awful experiences (could have something to do with the fact I meet them in the club), if you have had anything different: share it!
Its not even all times that you get to day 7 (if you respect your swag), if he is honest he will tell you he is seeing someone but he likes you enough to kiss you, but he is committed. "So what can we do?" *bbm grinning face icon*. Alternatively you will be told  that you can't expect to find a man his age being single, so he hopes you don't mind his girlfriend. Or they will just be plain weird!

Now, my issue is::
Women!! We have spoilt these men!! From which angle would someone approach you like that?? Its because he has tried and tested it before-- and guess what?? It worked!!
A standard has been set, that certain women don't mind playing the supporting actress role! Now though; its my movie and I play the lead roles! I call the shots 'cut', 'pause', 're-take'.I don't follow your cue cards and misdirection!
Women of Johannesburg, let's take ownership and stop playing the cameo roles! Can I get a 'Yuuup'??
I find it disrespectful for someone to make that kind of proposition to me; Tiyani Majoko. To be his 'makhwapheni'.. That literally means to be the girl in his armpit!!
*pointing at myself* "ME? "
*looking around*
"no ooo "*wagging finger and shaking my head*
Let's dissect that for a minute- you are the girl in the armpit; that's because the main girl is on his arm! There is no space for you in front- so you must be kept hidden, under wraps, in the armpit. Waiting in the 'wings'.

How many people know men who shave their armpit?. I mean men by gender- not by sex. A man's bushy armpit is one of the nastiest places I can think of. And he wants to put you there.
You aren't a piece of sand and his armpit isn't an oyster-you won't turn into a pearl under there!!
Its only a few 'makhwapheni's' that make it to the status of the Mrs,to slide out from the armpit, who manage to boot out the girl on the arm, classic example Alicia Keyes. She is every makhwapheni's role model!

        She was clearly more than a girl that's a friend!

Bottom line: We need to have a new picture for the scene out there.
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Speaking to my spirit

I don't even know where to begin! This feels like something so delicious; so creamy and sweet, but in the right proportions. You are so tempted to pull it out of your mouth to see what exactly it is hitting the 'sweet spot'. And with things like this, its usually the only one, or the last piece you got from someone- who also got it from somewhere.. And you are ready to dedicate all your time to find this thing again!

Let me start with the ladies! I hope and pray everyone of you has ladies!!

Ladies, that know you; the true you- who may curse like sailor or who know that you can't eat your food without a drink, or aren't surprised when you whip out a mirror at the table while we are eating! The ladies that pray you through, hug you through, cry you through, jog with you, fast with you---->>> ladies that LOVE YOU!!

Thank you Jesus, I have these ladies!! Today, we had our day, from talks of waiting for Mr Right, Wonder Bra's and happy boobs, work displeasure, funemployment, parking bays, food, dream matte mousse by Revlon, Uncle Fauzi (this is a Lebanese restaurant in Pretoria- they make the best wings and burgers :) *twice in one day*.... nothing was off limits!

I felt complete. I was churched. I was mothered, smothered, sistered, grandmothered! I was like a fire fly!! Just beaming.

The Bible says 'the one who has loved has seen the face of God!' I love and l am loved-- it really felt like heaven just opened up and poured down on me.. ♥

I've met a guy that speaks to my soul, but these ladies- speak to my spirit! And so deeply.. They carry me in their spirit and I carry them in mine!!.. ♥ ♥ .. Love looks great on me ☺[Miguel is right - love can Adorn you]
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Monday, April 11, 2011

My graphic illustration..

I was trying to upload from my PC, but it was PDF and for the life of me, I don't know how to convert a PDF to a JPG.. So I was like WTH.. and took a picture of a picture!!

On a side note, I've taken a picture of a picture before- it was of my high school crush..  In retrospect the coolest thing about him was the fact that I took a picture of his picture! No clue where he is today..

Anyway, use your imagination and tell me what you think the story behind this is.. Ill post my version too..
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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Changes

I am no longer the 19 year old girl who so badly just wanted you to like her; at any cost..
I am the 23 year old woman who values my peace of  mind.

Because you dont understand that:


Saturday, April 2, 2011

All of the lights..strobe lights, night lights..

I just typed this article and deleted it accidentally. sigh. :(

I can't type it again.

It was funny, quirky and leaves you with a good feeling. Well it left me with a good feeling and I did free advertising for some night spots in Joburg namely ZAR and Hush- the former being famous for people eating sushi of each others naked bodies.. When I went, there was no sushi; just Doritos... in the packet.

I made fun of people in ridiculous outfits and girls who believe that when the sun sets, so does the cellulite and wobbly bits.

I dissed guys (5 grown men) celebrating over 1 bottle of Nuvo/ Patron/Jack D/Wild Goose.. And waving it around all night.. Passing it amongst themselves.. Taking pictures with it.. And singing 'I get money'.. Or 'look at me now'.. Raising the bottle up..
None of them get money and y'all aint worth looking at.

Haaa, I was going to write a new post about Ishmael, he is a South African artist, he is very talented and he spoke with me last night..

The most important thing I did say is and i'll repeat is that: All this would not be possible without money! L☺L
Moving to Joburg has led to me shed some friendships due to distance and lack of time. I've come to meet new, interesting characters and its with these people that I have been able to create memorable times and also experience this beautiful city. ♥
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